The Living With Tusuami Series One Shots
by Tusuami
Summary: Each Chapter is a different story based on true life about living with Tusuami, which is me... yeah.... NEW CHARACTERS!
1. Tusuami Gets PMSy!

Tusuami Gets PMSy  
  
Freaky Narrator Dude Kitwit: We're all going to die!!!!!!  
  
Author and Freaky Narrator Dudett: Why you!!!! KO!  
  
FNDK: I hate PMSes!  
  
Tusuami: wakes up What a bright and early day! stretches looks down AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Kurama: sips tea Should someone be waking up Tusuami today?  
  
Boton: I'll go. It's my turn... unless someone else will do it for me?  
  
Silence.  
  
Boton: Okay. begins to climb the stairs  
  
Tusuami: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Sonic Boom!  
  
Boton: gets thrown off the stairs Watch out now!!! hits the wall  
  
Kurama: catchs a flying newspaper and starts to read it  
  
Yusuke: Damn! plugs ears Not again!  
  
Hiei: glares up the stairs Hn. Baka.  
  
Sonic Boom Ends.  
  
Yusuke: You get her Kurama.  
  
Kurama: If I must....  
  
Kurama: knocks on door Are you okay? gets a hairdryer thrown at him  
  
Tusuami: Come in.  
  
Kurama: It's time for school.  
  
Tusuami: flips her hair Do I have to Kurama-poo?  
  
Kurama: Kurama-poo?  
  
Tusuami: nods  
  
Kurama: Well just get dressed okay?  
  
Tusuami: Yes love.  
  
Yusuke: LOL She called you love and... Kurama-poo!!!  
  
Hiei: You're in over your head Kurama. Just let her be.  
  
Boton: But the last time she nearly murdered everyone.  
  
Tusuami: KONICHIWA!!!!!! I made my special PB&J BARS!!!!  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Tusuami: waiting Ahem?  
  
Silence.  
  
Tusuami: popping a vein COME ON MUNCHKINS!!!!! EAT UP SO YOU CAN BE GOOD AND STRONG LIKE YOUR DADDY!!!!  
  
Everyone: o.O  
  
Tusuami: Takes out a bucher knife Come to joe mama!  
  
Tusuami: Kurama-poo!!! Will you brush my hair? PWEEZE????  
  
Kurama: Sit still then.  
  
Tusuami: Yeah!  
  
Kurama: starts brushing So? Did you sleep well? Tusuami: expression turns frustrated/angry Did I sleep well!!!! stomps on his foot Damn right I slept well! Like a bloated baby!!!!  
  
Kurama: winces Go to school.  
  
Tusuami: innocent But!  
  
Kurama: Go. Now.  
  
Tusuami: Jeez! I just might think you have PMS!!! leaves  
  
Tusuami: to the wall You are an idiot! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You are an idiot! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
People walk by staring at her.  
  
Yusuke: Never trust anyone that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.  
  
Keiko: YUSUKE!!!  
  
FNDK: SEE!!!! Tusuami turns even more insane!!!! She called Kurama POO!!!!!! THE WORLD IS ENDDING!!!! YUSUKE'S RIGHT!!!  
  
FND: OH YEAH!!!!!!? slaps him to kingdom come  
  
Author: Nice.  
  
Boton: So how are you Tusuami?  
  
Tusuami: Fine! You?  
  
Boton: Ok.  
  
Tusuami: That's good!!  
  
Kurama walks in.  
  
Tusuami: AHHHHHH!!!! It's the rapist!!!! RUN!!!!! runs away  
  
Kurama: Do you think she does this on purpose. Boton: Maybe some of them....  
  
FNDK: STOP READING THIS!!!!!!! STOP!!!!! Author twacks him  
  
Author: The whole point of this thing is so people will read it!!!!!! JUST LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!  
  
Home... at last....  
  
Tusuami: OHHHHH!!!! Who lives in a pineapple under thee sea???!!!  
  
Crickets chirp.  
  
Tusuami: Well... :p  
  
Tissar: I see...  
  
Tusuami: Uncle!!!! hugs  
  
Tissar: Hello. You've been causing trouble?  
  
Tusuami: Who told you that? Was it the molester Kurama?  
  
Tissar: ;; glances at Kurama who is shaking his head No.... Are you sure you're okay?  
  
Tusuami: Why wouldn't I be!!? Stop being so overprotective!!!!!  
  
Hiei: Oh I don't know... maybe the talking to the walls might do it.  
  
Tusuami: At least the walls say more interesting things than you do!!!!!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Tusuami: Why you evil starfish!!!!  
  
Author: We interrupt you for a brief announcement!  
  
FND: Tusuami really does love starfish. She likes all animals and plants really. There are just some she doesn't want to pet.... Author: And now back to the fic!  
  
Tissar: ?.? (Thinks) I left her with these poor kids! Oh course it was Kurama's wish... but still...  
  
FNDK, FND, Author: OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Tusuami: takes out a Reikai Gun Ahha!!!  
  
Yusuke: Where did you get that!!!!  
  
Tusuami: I... uh....  
  
Hiei: She stole it.  
  
Tusuami: Na uh!!! I was curious and I borrowed it!!!  
  
Tissar: If that's anything like a Ancientkai gun... OH GOOD LORD!!!!  
  
Tusuami: FIRE!!!!!!! Shoots  
  
The place Explodes. KABOOM!!!!!  
  
7 days later...  
  
Keiko: Okay Tusuami you're free to go. unchains Tusuami inside a fireproof titanium cage  
  
Tususami: I want to eat some pickles!  
  
Keiko: O.o You're not...  
  
Tusuami: WHAT!! NO!!!  
  
Author: The moral of this story is never use anything electronic outside when it is raining.  
  
FNDK: What?  
  
FND: Don't ask. 


	2. Surprise!

Author: Welcome one and all! Ladies and Gentlemen, not to mention the occasional brat/punk, come and join us!

Freaky Narrator Dudett: Enough with the gentile greeting!

Author: It drives me nuts too. Anyhoo! Freaky Narrator Dude Kitwit is sick today! See?

Freaky Narrator Dude Kitwit: Achoo!sniff At least I get to watch this on the Telly!

FND: So we girls will be narratoring today!

Author: Let's get on with the story!

cra Z and Phil are leaving school…

Tusuami: Hey! Got plans tonight?

cra Z: We're going to this dance at this new place.

Tusuami: Can I come?

Phil: Well…

Tusuami: Pweezzzzzzz? puppy dog eyes

cra Z: Oh! Not those!

Phil: I'm sorry… but you need a date… and you seem to be short in that area.

Tusuami: If I got a date, could I come?

cra Z: You could, but me and Phil-

Tusuami: Phil and I.

cra Z: Phil and I… have some… ah… plans.

cra Z and Phil walk away…

Tusuami: (Thinking) I will go! No matter what!

Tusuami's list of guy friends which are available…

Kurama

Tusuami: tear eyed WHY! I'm their biggest fan! Why do they torture me like this!

Tusuami: Knocks on Kurama's door Kurama? Are you there?

Kurama: opens doorstares at Tusuami Tusuami? Why are you here?

Tusuami: Did you have plans tonight?

Kurama: Are you going to teepee me again?

Tusuami: NO! …I was just wondering if you'd come to this dance club with me because you need a date.

Kurama: And you're asking me?

Tusuami: You're the only one that isn't taken! Please!

Kurama: Fine… just don't hit me okay?

Tusuami: almost hugs himbacks away Deal! nods

Author: Ain't that sweet?

FND: They make a good couple.

Yusuke: Yup!

Author and FND jump…

Author: What are you doing here!

Yusuke: Well I feel this is focused on Hiei and Kurama than on me. So for the time being, I'll be helping out.

FND: We're doomed!

Author: Fine! Tell them what they're wearing.

Yusuke: Kurama is wearing black jeans with a navy blue long-sleeved shirt saying… "Kiss The Chef"? Are you serious!

FND: That's what it says!

Yusuke: Right. sweatdrop His hair is the same and he's wearing blue boxers with yellow duckies on them. …Isn't that going a little too deep?

Author: Well if you don't want to read it…

Yusuke: sweatdrop Tusuami is wearing black flares with a black punk tank top saying "A Product Of Insanity And Too Many Alcoholic Beverages". sigh Okay then. Her hairs down and is wearing a spiked necklace and bracelets and safety pin earrings. As you can see it's a punk rock party.

FND: Now back to the original program!

At the dance club…

Kurama: Should I get a table?

Tusuami: I suppose so… shifty eyes

Kurama: What's wrong?

Tusuami: I don't want to be seen with… a guy… alone… in a dance club….

Kurama: Why?

Tusuami: Because I don't want people to think I'm STEADY!

Kurama: Are you sure they're coming?

Tusuami: Yeah! They said so! Unless…

Kurama: Unless what?

Tusuami: They're plans are to actually be in bed.

Kurama: I don't suppose you meant sleeping?

Tusuami: freaking out Where's me camera!

Kurama: sweatdrop They're under aged, Tusuami. You know them. They'd never do that yet!

Tusuami: They have practically done everything else! Holding hands, dancing, hugging, kissing, stroking each other's butts! I NEVER see it too!

Kurama: Stop obsessing. (Thinks) Really? Stroking butts? How did she found that out? Surly cra Z didn't tell her that! What idiot would!

Tusuami: But I can't help it!

Kurama: Why don't you get a lover then!

Tusuami: Because! I can't… not yet. …And what is lover supposed to mean anyway!

Kurama: Eh-

Tusuami: looks at the dance floor Hey look! It's them!

Kurama: turns around sigh That's a relief! starts to walk toward them

Tusuami: trips him (hisses) What are you doing!

Kurama: I was going to talk to them!

Tusuami: No way! If they know we're here, then they won't do anything at all!

Kurama: You're going to spy on them?

Tusuami: I was thinking in the lines of stalking.

Kurama: Stalking is illegal!

Tusuami: Only if you get caught!

Yusuke: This is getting interesting.

FND: Yup.

Author: Wait! It gets better.

Kurama: The only way we can really watch is if we're on the dance floor.

Tusuami: The… gulp dance floor?

Kurama: You dance all the time in your room.

Tusuami: Well, I was supposedly alone!

Kurama: Just walking by.

Tusuami: Sure you were…

Kurama: It'll be fine!

Tusuami: Somehow, that doesn't help much, coming from you.

cra Z: Do you think Tusuami's actually coming?

Phil: Knowing her? …Yes. At least trying.

cra Z: Hope she doesn't interfere though.

Phil: Again, knowing her. But I wouldn't worry so much. Kisses cra Z

Tusuami: Points He kissed her! SEE! They never do that in front of me! Always in front of strangers is it?

Kurama: sweatdrop I wonder why?

Tusuami: Come on, Kurama! drags him to the dance floor

FNDK: Hey! Who said Yusuke could take my place! achoo!

Kuwabara: Take your place in what?

FNDK: turns of TV Nothing. Ha ha ha. Why are you here?

Yukina: We heard you were sick so Kuwabara, Hiei, and I got you some soup!

FNDK: Thanks! …where's Hiei?

Hiei: Up here. On the ceiling

On the dance floor…

DJ: Enter "Slow Dance"…

Tusuami: SLOW Dance! NO! That's it! I give up!

Kurama: Well that's a first. Come on now. At least try!

Tusuami: Nuh uh! That's enough! I'm going home! starts walking away

Kurama: sigh (thinks) Why me? pulls Tusuami close and starts slow dancing

Tusuami: blush Ah… blush Kurama? You do know you'll regret this, don't you?

Kurama: I know… I always do.

Yusuke: I got to try that on Keiko sometime.

Author: Good luck with that. At least Kurama's smooth!

Yusuke: And I'm not?

Author: Wow. You actually got it.

Author and Yusuke start to fight…

FND: sweatdropbacks away

cra Z: checks watch 10:00 'o clock. Ready?

Phil: I guess.

cra Z and Phil go into one of the club's "private" rooms…

Kurama: They just went into a room…. waits Tusuami?

Tusuami: asleep on Kurama's shouldersnore!

Kurama-;; shakes Tusuami Tusuami? Wake up!

Tusuami: SNORE!Snor- AH! Mutant Space Hamsters! blinks Oh… it's just you. Are we still dancing?

Kurama: cra Z and Phil just went into a room.

Tusuami: WHAT! Why didn't you wake me up sooner?

Kurama: Well I-

Tusuami: No time! yanks him

Kurama: Tusuami?

Tusuami: What?

Kurama: It's that way. points

Tusuami: grumbles FINE!

In front of the room door…

Tusuami: Well… this is it. Sorta sad really.

Kurama: Are you going to open it?

Tusuami: You open it!

Kurama: I couldn't.

Tusuami: Yes you can!

Kurama: But I don't know how.

Tusuami: It's very simple. You turn the knob and push and Viola! opens door YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!

The Gang: SURPRISE!

Keiko: Happy Birthday!

Tusuami: anime fall Where's cra Z and Phil?

cra Z: Here we are!

Tusuami: Is everyone really here?

FNDK: Yup! Everyone! ACHOO!

Tusuami: But… your plans?

Phil: Was this.

Tusuami: starts crying on Kurama's shirt MUNCHKINS!

Boton: Did we do something wrong?

Tusuami: sniff It's just that nobody has ever done this for me before! I'M SO GAY!

Hiei: You're gay?

Kurama: I think she means happy.

Hiei: Hn.

Author: Such a nice ending!

Yusuke: How come you didn't come?

Author: Nobody is supposed to no I'm here!

Yusuke: I know.

Author: Exactly!

Yusuke: Why you… starts fighting

Koenma: Hey! Will I ever be in these stories! Sheesh!

FND: Sorry Koenma, but you hardly ever talk to Tusuami… unless it's business.

Koenma: So?

The next morning…

Tusuami: Oh, Kurama! knocks on door Are you there?

Kurama: open door What is it now?

Tusuami: smiles Can't I thank you?

Kurama: Depends…

Tusuami: vein throb Well I Hope This Works! throws a bucket of cow poo on him

Kurama: Not… really.

Tusuami: runs away

Keiko: Honestly, why do you put up with it?

Kurama: It's the least I could do after what I did.

Keiko: You never told me.

Kurama: LOOK! It's Yusuke!

Keiko: Where! turns aroundKurama runs awayturns back I don- smiles We'll see then won't we?

Yusuke: Do you know what he did?

Author: Nope.

Yusuke: How about you?

FND: No clue.

Koenma: AHA! I know! But I'm not telling!

SURPRISE

by Tusuami

FIN


End file.
